Sometimes it makes me feel sick, but when I’m really honest with myself, a part of me is relieved that you died before I could tell you that I’m queer. But I know there exists an alternative world where time and space collapse, and you and I could be together again, and I’d tell you that I loved a woman, and you would smile and tell me that you loved me. Maybe you’d be queer too, and all your friends were queer and we’d all sit around the kitchen table and tell stories and eat kumquats together. (back)